Spock stepped out of the transporter station, carrying his small bag with him. An elderly man greeted him.
"I'm so glad you decided to visit again, sir. You will let us know your slightest requirements."
"Thank you, Caretaker. I am sure that everything will be satisfactory."
"We have duplicated the desert environment that you requested. If you will follow me, please." The Caretaker turned away and Spock followed.
"Well, ah . . . maybe you'd like to have a game of chess . . . in my cabin?" Kirk's heart was thudding painfully in his chest. Desire was strong, and the image of the Vulcan's lean body draped across his bed came to mind with a vengeance.
"Your cabin would be fine, Captain . . . . " Spock cleared his throat and clasped his hands behind his back. "However, rather than a game of chess, I should like to know more about . . . your . . . daydream."
Kirk blushed furiously but knew this was his chance. "I'll be happy to tell you about it, Spock, but . . . . "
"I would rather you . . . share it with me." Spock's face was determined.
Now. Only now, hours away from Omicron Cite III and ship's status returned to normal, could Spock relax and begin to assess the whole experience. How the spores had affected him personally: as an individual and as a Vulcan.
His response, or, rather, lack of response to Leila. His betrayal of Jim. His betrayal of
Vulcan. Ultimately, his betrayal of self.
Too much for any man to consider at once. Logically, Spock broke it into several components and set himself to explore each point fully in turn.
"Excuse me, Captain," the Vulcan apologized, seeing Kirk's desk. "If I am disturbing you, I shall return at a later time."
"No, Spock, that's okay. Sit down." Kirk pushed the stack of papers away again with relief as Spock drew up a chair and seated himself across the desk from his CO.
"It was occurred to me," the Vulcan began, "that there is a subject on which I am lacking knowledge. I have previously experienced no interest in this area, but am now finding myself at a disadvantage. As you are reputed to have experience and, shall we say, expertise in the matter, I thought I should apply to you for the necessary information." Spock looked expectant.
"What is this area of expertise I seem to have acquired?"
"I wish to learn something of courtship rituals."
"May I ask a question?"
"Sure." Kirk suspected Spock of trying to distract him to change the subject.
"Are you aware that the gossip routinely . . . . "
Kirk waited for Spock to rephrase the obviously difficult question.
"Apparently, the crew assumes that we you and I are engaged in a . . . sexual relationship.
Of some duration."
Kirk's mouth slowly slipped open. "Us? Lovers? How . . . . " He barely closed his mouth on the word 'ridiculous.' Spock might get the wrong idea.
The mission to Ekos was over a success in the eyes of Starfleet Command. The missing man, John Gill, had been found; a deviating culture quietly nudged back on track by the efforts of James T. Kirk, captain of the starship USS Enterprise, and his Vulcan first officer, Spock. The injuries they sustained were healed; the scars on their backs erased. The scars on Spock's psyche were not.
It was not the beating. Spock had suffered far worse at the hands of various enemies of the Federation and was not intimidated by the knowledge that he might one day face infinitely worse. It was the dreams he was finding it difficult to cope with, and the knowledge of whence they came. What was it about Terra, he wondered, that so often engendered perversion?
"I have only one name that I remember. Kirok."
Straightforward. But was there a trace of melancholy? "Did . . . you have . . . another name?" Spock made the effort. His head throbbed. A part of his mind sought the other with the tendrils of friendship that they once had shared. There was nothing.
"Yes. I know I did, but the only thing I can remember sounds like Kirok, and I know that's not correct."
Feeling like death itself, the Vulcan nevertheless had to continue if the man was willing.
Who knew when the opportunity might arise again? So he asked hesitantly: "Does Kirk . . .
sound . . . better to you?"