61

Leonard McCoy read and reread the personnel message he had received that morning. It was a letter about the death of his Aunt Delilah. Rubbing his forehead, the doctor tried to come up with a mental image of Aunt Delilah but couldn't. Well, hell. How was he supposed to keep up with family business way out here, wherever out here was at the moment. Well, that's a shame for the old gal. He'd miss her, if he could just remember her.

It began like any other day, Spock thought, bedazzled by the puzzling but euphoria-inducing phenomenon he held in his arms. How could the stars through the small viewscreen in Jim Kirk's quarters look the same as they had an hour ago, when he responded to the usual invitation to share a game of chess?

"What?'This time, Kirk was entitled to a surprised outburst. During the entire five year-mission, he could count on one hand the times Spock had actively encouraged him to join the away team. 'Exploring new planets is best left to those most qualified to... blahblahblah!' Kirk could recite the oft-repeated lecture word for word. He glanced around at the carefully bland faces of his command staff–and McCoy's openly disgruntled expression. Kirk realized that everyone had already heard the latest Starfleet gossip; that Admiral Nogura was 'considering' him for promotion to Headquarters staff. Kirk's very first reaction to the unexpected offer had been to accept it immediately–but he hadn't and instead, asked for time to think it over. Nearly every first-year cadet dreamed of someday becoming an admiral, of being a 'big-shot' at Command and he had entertained the same huge, youthful ambitions. But now? Being Captain of the Enterprise was the accomplishment he was most proud of and according to McCoy, the only job perfect for him and he'd be a fool to 'step down' to a posting at HQ.

I do not know if I should share this with Sarek, I remember thinking. He and Spock are only now just beginning to talk. If he should discover that the sole reason Spock is staying in Starfleet is an emotional attachment… well, I do not know what might happen. I can guess though, they would once again be on the outs with one another. All that silence between the two… I just could not go through that again!

Spock did you know that it is raining outside? Well it is. I can hear the rain as it splatters against my windowsill. Getting out of my nice warm bed and looking out, I can see that it is a cold and dreary day. The weather fits my mood; cold and dark. You see I had to do something today that I knew needed doing. Yet knowing it needed doing did not make it any easier.

It was, Spock reflected admiringly, a remarkable example of persistence and human kind's determination to see things through despite overwhelming opposition from all that was rational.

Or, as his mother might well have put it, Jim Kirk was flogging an extremely dead horse.

She was perfect. He'd known it the moment he first saw her and it had been sweet agony to stalk her until the right moment. That she was a woman was an unexpected bonus--there weren't that many female officers stationed here-but she was Starfleet and that was all that really mattered. Now it was time for her to pay the price...

The memorial service was almost complete. Admiral Kirk, flanked on either side by Spock and McCoy, stood on the podium overlooking the gathered assembly. "We all know the risks a life in Starfleet entails. Ensign Moaogi Bzshran knew these risks as well... knew them and accepted them. He was a good man, a fine crewmember, and he will be greatly missed. May his soul rest in peace."